Busy as hell
Topic(s): Miscellaneous Bait
Submitted by: kgagne – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 10:12
Leave it to a pair of IT professionals to overanalyze things. What should've been a simple salutation in an IRC channel became a detailed dissertation that stopped just short of thermodynamics. Observe...
kgagne: Good morning.
sheppy: Hi Ken.
kgagne: How's it going, Shep?
sheppy: Okay. Busy as hell.
kgagne: Just how busy *is* hell, anyway?
sheppy: Well, that's an interesting question. If you assume it's anything like "Inferno", it's pretty freakin' busy.
kgagne: But once you tell a guy to do a task FOREVER, there's not exactly a lot of follow-up project management involved, is there? Deadlines, meetings, expense reports, etc. all kinda go out the window.
sheppy: Sure there is. Those lazy slackers keep trying to talk to guys being guided through Hell by dead poets. So you gotta keep on 'em.
kgagne: Well, we can phase out the dead poets with a combination of moving sidewalks and self-guided, pre-recorded audio tours.
sheppy: Rental iPods.
kgagne: Perhaps divide the workers from the tourists with a one-way mirrored tunnel, or a personal cloaking device or dimensional phase shifter.
sheppy: Still, the wretched get distracted easily from their rivers of feces and whatnot.
kgagne: Neural implants will keep their agony consistent regardless of distraction.
sheppy: Sounds like a lot of expense. I think management would rather keep beating the clients.
kgagne: It's a large investment up-front, but the ROI is improved productivity among both staff and clients, freeing up demonic resources for other projects. The war on heaven ain't gonna wage itself.
sheppy: But at a loss of morale. I still suspect they prefer the personal touch. The staff has to have its recreation.
kgagne: Isn't that what hell is all about -- loss of morale?
sheppy: I think it's about loss of morale for the shades, not so much for the staff necessarily.
kgagne: Then perhaps a nice foosball table will balance things out.
sheppy: That could be. Or a sno-cone machine. Because there's not a sno-cone's chance in hell of getting a foosball table.
kgagne: Conclusion: you're obviously not as busy as hell, if you can contemplate such matters.
sheppy: Damn you.
kgagne: In that case, I'll report back with my firsthand review ASAP.
Comment: Thanks KGAGNE..
That was funny as HELL!! I have been having a really hectic week since the "down-sized" our helpdesk of 6 to 3. This really brightened my day and gave me a good laugh. Thanks.
concubahr – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 11:41
Comment: I feel for you.
Did they take your shoelaces,belts and sharp objects when they took the three other support staffers?
jeitzen – Mon, 08/25/2008 – 08:53
Comment: No, but they did promise.....
to get me some hair-coloring, since my hair now seems to be rapidly turning grey.
concubahr – Mon, 08/25/2008 – 09:20
Comment: Or perhaps
kgagne: I'll get a committe rounded up and have a review back to you next week soonest.
(Talk about your hell!)
Hothand – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 12:19
Comment: GOOHF
Ah, but he wasn't counting on my Get Out of Hell Free card!
kgagne – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 14:28
Comment: Forever
If you keep doing the same thing over and over forever, there's really no completion and therefore no deadline, right?
Let's compare that to an assembly line that runs 24/7: although workers do the same task multiple times, the task proceeds to the next step and will eventually be completed (e.g. the car will be assembled).
But in hell one is supposed to do the same task forever, so we must determine how it is that although the task is done it is never finished. Perhaps it would be something like those horror moves where the person keeps running down the hallway but the end only gets father away; or digging a hole that keeps getting full between the shoveling motions?
Ok, I'm over analyzing... but isn't that fun?
asitnik – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 12:57
Comment: and ever...
Actually, It's probably a circular conveyor belt. All the people who loved to destroy things while alive are on the side that fixes/builds whatever it is. The people who loved to build while alive, are stuck breaking/disassembling the item when it gets to their side, then it loops back around.
Assembling and disassembling the same thing, for eternity.
linnea4 – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 13:26
Comment: Well... yes and no!
While you give a brilliant description of a hateful task, it nevertheless accomplishes something - destroying it or fixing it does mean something got "done".
We need something more demoniac than that, which leaves the "users" with the sense of working but never quite accomplishing anything!
asitnik – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 14:07
Comment: I know.....
How about developing software, or fielding help desk calls, or doing security awareness training....
Security is a concept not a product!
Digital Willie – Mon, 08/25/2008 – 10:25
Comment: But its so much fun
to over analyze everything!